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Transcription:Avengers: Musictacular Tapstravaganza
(Director sits next to the Producer at a theater) Producer: Hey, glad you could make the dress rehearsal. Director: Well, it better be good. Another debacle like Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark and we're ruined! Producer: Well, I know you're gonna love Avengers: Musictacular Tapstravaganza! Director: Wait, it's called what? (Cut to the stage with an American flag as a backdrop; the President of the United States and a scientist are standing beside a green freezing chamber) President Actor: You say this super-soldier serum will make him run, jump, fight-- (The actor portraying Captain America bursts out of the chamber) Captain America Actor: (singing) And daaaaance! Captain America Actor tap dances to ragtime music Scientist Actor: I've never seen anyone hoof it like that! President Actor: He's hoofin' it for America! (Cut to scene with Thor's fortress in the background. Thor Actor walks across the stage) Thor Actor: (Singing) They say only fools ever dance in the rain / But Thor-tunately, you're with the Thunder God! (Background singers appear dressed as lightning bolts) I'm not a Blunder God / Come home and slumber broad. Background Singers: Render us asunder, God! (They're lifted via a crane) (Transition to scene with a spider web in the background. Stan Lee plays the piano and Black Widow Actress stands leaning on said piano) Black Widow Actress: (Singing) I spin a web of fantasy / Throw 10 roses and whispered talk / But my web isn't strong enough to catch myself...a hawk. (Hawkeye Actor appears from the right side) Hawkeye Actor: (Singing) I soar above the people / My arrows pierce their bones / But the only arrow I won't use is the one that Cupid owns. Stan Lee: You know, in South America, they have spiders that eat birds. (Cut to scene where Loki Actor is at his laboratory mixing a dastardly concoction) Loki Actor: (Singing) I shall win, I shall win / And you're gonna sulk. Iron Man Actor: (Appears from the left, Singing) No you won't, no you won't / (Snatches drink and drops it) 'Cause we have a Huuuuuulk!! (Loki Actor runs away, a metal animatronic "Hulk" rises in the background) All Hero Actors: (Singing in unison) They have a Hulk, they have a Hulk / Did you hear they have a Hulk? (The animatronic Hulk prop creaks loudly as it moves) All Hero Actors: '''(Singing, barely audible) One Hulk to beat an army, One Hulk to crush 'em all... (The steam machine that powers "The Hulk" animatronic explodes, decapitating the Thor Actor, impaling the Iron Man Actor with a pipe, and severely injuring the rest of the cast) '''Producer: Uh...we're insured, right? Director: Yes, soup to nuts. Captain America Actor: I NEED AN AMBULANCE!!! Black Widow Actress: SOMEBODY CALL 911!!!! (The Producer & Director pull out Molotov Cocktails and light them up, clink their bottles before tossing them and making a beeline for the exit) Iron Man Actor: I CAN'T FEEL MY F***ING LEGS!!!! (Black Widow Actress screams as the lit Molotov Cocktails crash and set fire to the theater) Category:Transcriptions